I received my merit increase yesterday. I was very disappointed because my expectation was not met. This was the second disappointment I have experienced since I got promoted as Assistant Manager. I was very quiet because I was trying to hold my tears. I was expecting that the management will align my salary. When I got promoted last year, they just gave me a 3-digit increase. The management said the increase was pretty low because of the financial crisis. It was quite easy to understand though.
Officers meeting was held few months ago. The management reported a very big revenue (three times the target). That made me think that we will have a good increase this year. But what I hoped for was totally the reciprocal of what I have received. When I saw my payslip yesterday, I suddenly felt pain in my chest, seems a heavy stone was placed inside it. When I arrived at home, I told the news to my husband. Both of us asked, "Now what?". We have two kids that are not yet enrolled for school year 2010-2011. My eldest child has special needs, she'll be enrolling in a special school.
I told my husband, "I don't know, but God knows what to do. I'll ask Him. Ask Him too." I prayed for strength and wisdom before I slept last night.
When I woke up this morning, God has a though for me. He reminded me of the spiel I said last week while leading the praise and worship in our church's morning worship service. The line was "What will you say if God told you that you will eat salted fish (tuyo) at lunch?". I say, "Shout Amen, thank you Lord!, because that is a blessing. Whether it is small or big always give thanks to the Lord." This moved me to repent and asked God's forgiveness. I prayed, "Thank you Lord because this is Your will. Please help me to see Your purpose, whatever it is I will follow."